im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
