She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
