Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
