They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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