He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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