Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
