Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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