If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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