the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
