I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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