She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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