God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
