I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
