You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
