i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
