I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
