hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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