last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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