rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
