i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
