It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
