i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
