Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Randomize
