Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
