I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
