Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
