So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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