I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
