I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
