Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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