He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
