All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
