I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Mom said you looked used
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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