omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
