btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
