Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
