I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
