how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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