it's not cheating when I paid for it
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
