with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The uberlube is also flammable
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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