shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
