the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
