I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
