The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
