True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
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