i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
