Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
