I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
