Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
My vagina just recognized that song.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
