I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
