i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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